Mama Diaries

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Deja Vu




Today, I'm doing the Deja Vu Blog Fest hosted by D L Hammons.  Participants just have to choose a blog from the archives and repost it.  Easy!

My selection is from December 31, 2010, my first year of blogging, and when I had very few followers.  There were no comments on this original post.  It's called "Head Adjustment."  (Let's see if I get a few more comments this time around!)

"Mama, your head is on backwards," my son said as he arranged my long hair over my face. (No comments on that comment, please.)

"Really?"

"Yeah. Your face is on the back of your head, and your ears are on the wrong way."

"What should I do about this?" I asked.

"Shake your head like a dog."

I shook my head like a dog. 

"No, shake it three times like a dog."

My head was starting to hurt after that. "How's that?" I asked.

"Your head is still on backwards. Better try shaking it five times."

"How's that?" I asked after feeling like my neck had major whiplash.

"Um, now you look like an angry Mama."

Perfect.


(In case you want to know, my son, AKA Bubba, was six years old.)  Hope you enjoyed this little blast from the past!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Epic Sing-Along Fail

'Tis the season for Christmas carols. Most of us in the good old USA, know the standards:  Jingle Bells, Frosty, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, etc. But not my son's fourth grade class.  They've missed something along the way.

My son came home from school, yesterday, with this news:  "Mama, our sing-along was an epic fail!"

"Say what?" I said.  "Explain this."

"We were supposed to sing 'Frosty the Snowman' and 'Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer' in music class. But nobody knew the words."

"Are you serious?"  I asked.

He nodded.  "They'd never heard of those songs."

Now, let me paint the picture of where I live.  This is Atlanta, Georgia.  And it's like living in the United Nations.  There are so many nationalities here, and most of the people where I live, are Asian.  My family and I are a definite minority.  The kids are first generation Americans (my neighbors don't even speak English).  So, naturally, their parents had never taught them basic American Christmas tunes.

"But don't they teach kids 'Rudolph' in first grade?" I asked.  I clearly remembered my kids being quizzed on the reindeer names back in Ohio.

"Nope."

"So, maybe you can teach them.  You know all the words."

"Mama, I'm not singing all by myself.  Forget it.  I'd rather deal with the epic fail!"

(So much for my great idea.)    

Monday, December 15, 2014

The Poisonous Platypus

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "Did you know that platypuses are poisonous?"

"They are?" I asked.  That was news to me.

"Yes.  They can kill a cat or dog with their venom."

"Hmm," I said.  "Did you get this information on You Tube?"

He nodded.

"Then it's probably not right," I said.

"But it was on a National Geographic video."

Uh huh.  That reminded me of the the fake Megalodon video National Geographic put out.  "Okay.  Let's see it," I said.

So he showed me.  And guess what?  Male platypuses are poisonous.  They have spurs on their hind legs that inject poison. The males use them in fighting other males for dominance and mating rights.

If you would like to learn about this silly looking creature, here's a video for you viewing enjoyment. (Now don't say you've never learned anything from visiting my pad!)


Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Great Cookie Hunt

It's that time of year.  Time to bake Christmas cookies.  The problem at my pad, is that the cookies seem to disappear not long after they're baked.  One year, I went into the freezer, where supposedly 120 chocolate chip cookies were waiting to be put on trays.  But when I opened the containers, the only thing I found was a note that said, "Num Num Num."  My husband had eaten all of them!

After that experience, I felt the best thing to do was hide the cookies.  I came up with all kinds of great places to hide them, and they were never found.  My family was not pleased about this arrangement.  Especially my husband.  So this year he thinks he's going to outsmart me.

I overheard a conversation between him and my kids.  It went like this:

"Where do you think Mama hides the cookies, Daddy?"

"I don't know, Bubba.  But I'm going to find them this year!"

"I know where she hides them," my daughter said.

"Where?" asked my husband.

"I'm not telling!" she replied.

I chuckled to myself.  She gets brownie points from the Mama for that one!

Bubba got up.  "I have an idea," he said.  "Hold on a minute."

I heard him go down to the basement.  A few minutes later he came back up.

"A metal detector?" asked my husband.

"Yeah, Daddy.  She hides them in tins.  The metal detector will help us find them!"

Okay.  New plan.  All cookies will be stored in plastic Tupperware containers!
  

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

A Little Toe Wiggling

This morning, I was standing at the bus stop with my son at the crack of dawn.  The sun wasn't even up.  And it was freezing!  Of course standing around doing nothing makes it even colder.  So I decided to move a little.  It started with rubbing my hands together real fast.

My son gave me the evil eye.  "No, Mama.  You can't do that in public."'

I looked at the kid and started jumping up and down.

The boy frowned.  "You can't do that either."

I made a face and started wiggling my toes.  Bubba noticed.  We both laughed, but Bubba didn't approve.  "No, Mama, You can't wiggle your toes in public, either.  It's so embarrassing!"

(Who knew wiggling your toes in public could be a source of embarrassment for a kid?  I'll have to do it more!)

Monday, December 8, 2014

Fried Toothpaste

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "I need some toothpaste."

"Okay."  I didn't think there was anything unusual about that request.  But then he added something else.

"And I need a deep fryer."

"What?" I couldn't imagine what kind of craziness he was planning in his overactive mind.  "Why do you need a deep fryer?"

"Because I want to see if toothpaste can be deep fried."

I looked at the kid.  "Why?"

"Because I saw a video on YouTube.  It said it could.  But I just wanted to make sure."

"Dude.  You are not deep frying toothpaste.  If it said it could be done, then just take their word for it. End of discussion!"

"But Mama . . . "

"No!"

So ladies and gentlemen, if you are dying to know if toothpaste can be deep fried, the answer is, "Yes."  Here's the video that proves it:  

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Staring at the Clouds

My ten-year-old son had parked himself in front of the TV and was playing Minecraft on Xbox.  I watched for a few minutes as he crafted his world.  Then I left the room to do other things.  When I came back, I found him lying down, with his head propped up by a sofa pillow, staring at the screen.  He was doing absolutely nothing.

"Dude," I said.  "What's up?"

"I'm just admiring the beautiful purple clouds," he said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

I glanced over at his Minecraft world.  And yes, there were purple Minecraft clouds floating in the sky in that Minecraft world.  "Seriously?" I asked.  "You're staring at Minecraft clouds?"

He nodded.  "Yes, Mama.  It's fun to stare at clouds no matter where they are!"