Mama Diaries

Friday, July 22, 2016

Stupid Frog

If you look at the picture above, you'll probably be drawn to the flaming logs. But if you look on one of the rocks on the bottom left, you'll see a little critter. A frog.

That little frog jumped out from the fire pit rocks about fifteen minutes after we had started the bonfire. Apparently, we had disturbed its nap. If he was a smart little frog, he would have hopped far away. But no. He was not a smart frog.

When my son got up off of his chair to have a closer look, the stupid frog hopped back onto the rock, where you see him in the picture. He was heading for danger.

"Bubba," I said. "You're going to have to get away from the frog, or it's going to hop right into the fire."

"No, he isn't."

As soon as Bubba said that, the brainless amphibian hopped even closer.

"He's going to jump in!" my daughter shrieked.

"Back away," I said. "If he has space, maybe he'll figure it out."

It took a while, but the frog finally decided that being so close to the fire was not a good idea. It hopped off the hot rock into the nearby wood pile.

I think it needs to find a new home, or next time it's not going to be so lucky!

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Chase

The deer in my neighborhood are fearless. They walk up and down our streets and yards in the middle of the afternoon, not caring who or what sees them. Just the other day, I saw a herd of deer grazing in our neighbor's front yard while a tabby cat sat in the grass two feet away from them. They didn't care. This insolence drives our hundred pound German Shepherd, Schultz,  crazy. He's stuck in the house, barking his head off at them. Most other dogs in the neighborhood do the same thing. They want to chase the oversized rodents, but can't.

Well, one little dog in our neighborhood had his big chance. Somehow, he escaped from the confines of his house. He charged, looking like a ferocious little beast. I have to admit that he made an impressive amount of noise. The deer weren't impressed.  They looked at the little fur ball and turned the tables. They charged at him!

The scared little dog stopped yapping and ran for his life!

It was the craziest sight to see - a herd of deer chasing a little dog!

(I have a half a mind to send Schultz after them. They're afraid of him. When he comes out, they run! We need to teach those bullies a lesson.)

Friday, July 8, 2016

The Wrong Side of the Mountain

I've been doing a lot of exploring with my kids, which is why I haven't been sitting in front of my computer blogging. Yesterday's adventure involved a mountain.

I took my kids and one of their friends to Yonah Mountain in Georgia. It was supposed to be a lovely two and a half mile hike to the summit. Well, it ended up being a little bit longer for us. After climbing about an hour and a half, we reached the half-way point. We thought it was the top because the view was so pretty. But it wasn't. Other intrepid climbers informed us that the summit was at least a half hour hike further up.

We gathered our things and continued upward, over some pretty rough terrain. This wasn't your average dirt trail. We're talking climbing over very large boulders and fallen trees. About fifteen minutes later, we met some other hikers coming down.

"How much further to the summit?" I asked.

"About twenty minutes," they replied. "There will be a fork in the road. Go left. It's a wider trail and easier. Then you'll come to a clearing. Take the trail on the left, rather than the one on the right."


We found the fork and went left. A little while later, we noticed the trail was heading down, and not up.

"Something is wrong," I said.

"Maybe it'll go down and then back up," my daughter's friend said.

It didn't. It went down, down, down. Until we came to a sign. "Road Closed." We looked at each other.

"Check the GPS and see where we are in relation to the parking lot," I said.

We were eleven miles away on the other side of the mountain. Not good.

"Okay, everybody. We're climbing back up!"

And that's what we did. We climbed that stinking mountain twice. What should have been about a two and a half hour hike ended up being over five hours.

My daughter and I decided to find the summit, which we did. I'm glad we did, because the view was beautiful. But the moral of the story is, if you're climbing to the top of a mountain, always follow the path that goes up. And bring a map.

Here's the view from the top:


Monday, July 4, 2016

Question of the Month and Stretchy Socks

It's time once again for the Question of the Month hosted by Michael D'Agostino. This month's question is:  What was the first book/series that you fell in love with?

The first book was James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl. My teacher read it to our class in the second grade just before lunch. She read a chapter a day. I couldn't wait for the next day so I could hear another chapter! As far as a series goes, I really liked the Nancy Drew series. I think I have every book in the series. (That's a lot of books!)

Do you have a favorite first book/series?

Now for the story.

"Mom," my twelve-year-old son said as he came down the stairs. "I can still fit into my baby socks!"

I couldn't believe it. "Are you sure about that?"

He pointed at his feet. "These are the ones I wore when I was two years old."

I looked down at them and squinted. "Are you sure?" They looked vaguely familiar, but I wasn't sure they were actually his baby socks.

"Yeah." He took them off and showed me. They looked slightly misshapen. Like they'd been stretched about five times their original size.  "I've been working at it, and I can fit into them, again!"

Apparently those were his favorite socks. Guess they'll be around a few more years.

To all of my American friends, I'd like to wish you a happy Fourth of July!

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Ranch-flavored Cat

Our cat, Bootsy, was practicing bad table manners, again. This time it was with me. As I sat at the picnic table, eating my sandwich, the cat jumped up onto the table and sniffed my sandwich. I yanked it away, but not before some of the ranch dressing that was in it dripped on to the cat's head.

I tried to get it off, but Bootsy wouldn't sit still to let me do it. "Fine," I said. "You can run around with ranch dressing on your head."

Which is what he did, until our hundred pound German Shepherd came out to play. Schultz picked up on the ranch scent right away. He walked over to the cat, gave him a sniff, and licked off the dressing.

(Good thing Schultz wasn't hungry, or that cat might've been Schultz's dinner!)

Before I go, I would like to share a promo video that was made for the anthology, The Thing That Turned Me. The release date has been pushed to the end of August, but you can see this video now. In it, I tell you a little about myself and the piece that I wrote for the anthology.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Skating Rink for Schultz

We recently got the hard-wood floors in our house refinished. They look fantastic, but whatever was put on the floors to seal them, has made them really slippery! Everyone has slipped a little. But no one has slipped more than Schultz, our hundred pound German Shepherd.

The quadruped can't seem to control his speed. He goes fast. Unfortunately, that doesn't work so well on slippery floors.   He loses his balance and falls on his nose. Or he crashes into the wall.

"Dog, slow down!" I said after his last crash.

He looked at me with his big, brown puppy eyes. Then he walked slowly to the front hall where we have an area rug. When he spotted the rug, he wagged his bushy tail. Then he ran and pounced not- so-gracefully onto the rug. That thing slid across the hall, but he managed to remain upright.

He looked very pleased with himself. Since then, he has done it several more times. He now has a new mode of transportation for navigating our slick rink - his very own magic carpet ride.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Daddy's Got Talent

So, my husband has decided he is going to audition for America's Got Talent.

"Wait a minute," I said. "You've got talent?"

After living with him for over 15 years, I had no idea.

"Yeah. I've got talent."

"Doing what?"


I looked at the guy. I've heard him on occasion singing in the shower, and let me tell you, it's nothing to write home about.

"You sure about that?"

"Yep."  Then he showed me a video. "This guy is my inspiration."

I watched as an 82 year old dude audition on American's Got Talent. My jaw dropped to the floor.
"Uh, okay."

You can see the video here.

The thing is, I can totally see my husband doing what the old dude did.