Mama Diaries

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Brave Mama and a Give Away

Yesterday, I took my daughter, along with four of her teenaged friends, to the store. It was an adventure. We had to stop every three seconds so the girls could take photos of all the things they found interesting, so they could share them with their friends on Instagram. And of course there were all the selfies. My goodness!

When we finally made it to the check out, the cashier looked at me and smiled. "You are a very brave woman to go out with all these teenagers!"

Yes, I am. I should get a medal!

(When we got home, the chaos continued. The girls raided my kitchen and made cupcakes, all while singing and dancing to Christmas music!)

I don't know if I will be posting again before Thanksgiving. So I'd like to wish each and every one of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!  Thank you so much for being my blog buddies! 

As my little way of saying thanks, I'm going to give away two copies of my newest book, Ten Zany Birds, and one copy of my book, That Mama is a Grouch. (If anyone is interested in That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN, I'll include a copy of that, too.) Just leave a comment below and let me know which, if any, you'd be interested in. I'll announce the winners next Monday.

Today, as part of my book tour, my book has been reviewed by Chat With Vera. She thought it might be nice if I wrote some music to go with the text. What do you think? You can visit her site to read the rest of her comments.

Monday, November 23, 2015

How Long is a Day?

"Mama," my eleven-year-old son asked. "How long is a day?"

"Twenty four hours," I said, without thinking twice.

"No, it's not," my son said.

"What do you mean?"

Bubba explained. "Scientists discovered that a huge earthquake caused the earth to alter its rotation. There is one less millisecond per day, than there used to be."

"That's nice," I said. "So, how long is it going to take to notice the difference?"

Bubba shrugged. "I don't know."

That wasn't a good enough answer. Since I was curious about the situation, I did a little math. One day equals 86,400,000 milliseconds. It will take 2, 367,123.29 years for all those little milliseconds to equal a full day. Guess I'm not going to worry about it too much, and neither should you.

Today I'm a guest over at Indie Authors. If you'd like to read the story behind my latest book, Ten Zany Birds, please stop by!

Friday, November 20, 2015

Sassy Siri

In case you don't know, Siri is a computer generated voice that answers any question you might have. You just talk into your smart device, and Siri recognizes what you say. It's pretty remarkable technology. Some of the answers can be a little questionable. And snarky. Like the answer my son got when he asked Siri what zero divided by zero was.

Here's what Siri said:  "Imagine that you have zero cookies, and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense.

“And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”

Well, isn't that just terrible.

"Mama," my son said after he heard it. "You need to go make some cookies, and I need to get my friends. Then nobody will be sad."

Makes sense to me!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Scaredy Cat

Even though our hundred pound German Shepherd looks ferocious, he's nothing but a scaredy cat. Let me tell you about his latest scaredy cat episode.

There have been Diwali celebrations in our neighborhood. (It's a big Indian holiday for those who aren't familiar with it.) People have been shooting off fireworks every night. Schultz doesn't like it. When I came home from work, he immediately ran over to me and tried to hide between my legs. He just about knocked me over.

"Schultz. Chill. What's the matter?"

That's when I heard the fireworks go off. He looked at me with his brown soulful eyes and whimpered.

"It's okay, Schultz," I said, petting his head. "It's just fireworks."

More went off. I sat down and Schultz put his head on my lap. That dog would not leave my side until the fireworks stopped.

(Meanwhile, Bootsy, our cat, sat nearby watching the whole thing with utter disdain. After a while, he parked himself on the back porch and enjoyed the rest of the fireworks show. He's not a scaredy cat!)

Before I go, I'd like to thank Tracy Terry for her wonderful review of my book, Ten Zany Birds! You can read her comments here.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Cat Conversations

Bootsy, our cat, has been very vocal lately. I'm not sure what his issue is, but he's been needing a lot of attention.

The other day I found my daughter sitting with Bootsy having a conversation. It went like this:

Bootsy: "Meow!"

My daughter:  "Meow!"

Bootsy:  "Meowwww!"

My daughter:  "Meowwww!"

Bootsy:  "Meeeeeow!"

My daughter:  "Meeeeeow!"

I walked over and looked at the two of them. "What's going on here?"

My daughter grinned. "Bootsy needed someone to talk to. I'm his therapist."

Friday, November 13, 2015

The Aging Machine

"Mama," my eleven-year-old son said. "I need to invent something."

"What do you need to invent?" I asked.

"An aging machine."

At looked at the kid sideways. "Dude, why in the world would you want to invent that?"

"I want to hurry up and be eighteen. Then I can be a grown-up and nobody can tell me what to do."

Uh, right.

"Okay, Bubba," I said. "But after you're done, can you invent an anti-aging machine? I'm kind of sick of this getting old thing!"

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Doggy Spa

Our hundred-pound German Shepherd was in serious need of a bath. When he smells like dirty socks, you know it's time. In the fall and winter, Schultz gets the royal treatment:  bath in the Jacuzzi.  My husband took care of it. When he was done, the Jacuzzi was trashed, but the dog was clean and shiny.

I was practicing when the dog proudly marched in to show off his clean coat. He looked good. But then I took a sniff. It smelled strangely familiar.

"What did you use to wash the dog?" I asked my husband.

He grinned. "Your shampoo!"


(Well, at least he smells good!)  

Today, as part of my book tour for Ten Zany Birds, I'm at Traci McDonald's blog, where she gives a very nice review of the book.