Mama Diaries

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Dank Meme Soup

"What?" you're asking. I didn't name it. Bubba did.

Chef Bubba was back in the kitchen working his magic. This little creation involved beef broth and a sweet potato. The boy cooked some spaghetti noodles and dumped them in a pot of beef broth. Then he cut up some celery and carrots and added them to the mix. He seasoned it with pepper, and then added the secret ingredient:  a sweet potato.

Amazingly, the boy peeled the thing. But that was where it stopped. After peeling, Bubba tossed the uncut potato into the pot. He let it simmer for a while and then announced that his soup was ready.

I went over to investigate, and saw this sweet potato rising up like an island in the middle of broth.

"Dude," I said. "What's up with the sweet potato? Aren't you going to cut it?"

He shook his head. "No, Mom. This is Dank Meme soup. You never cut the sweet potato when you make Dank Meme soup!"

So, ladies and gentlemen, remember that. Never cut the sweet potato when you make Dank Meme soup!      

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Fun Monkey

My son has an interesting way of looking at things. Yesterday, he came home from school with this information:

"Mom, most rational people do what they have to do without any problem."

Okay. I wondered where he was going with this.

He continued. "But some people have this thing called a Fun Monkey inside of their head."

"A Fun Monkey?"

"Yes. It opposes all rational thinking and makes the person get sidetracked with fun things that are more interesting than what they're supposed to be doing."

I nodded. "I see. Have you experienced this Fun Monkey in your head?"

"Yes. It's been giving me some problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"Well, there's this other thing called the Karma Monster. Whenever you do what the Fun Monkey wants you to do, the Karma Monster gets you for not doing what you're supposed to be doing."

"So you're saying you got in trouble?"

"Maybe."

I see. So, I guess we all have to learn from Bubba and not listen to the Fun Monkey. Otherwise the Karma Monster is going to get us!      

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Rude Awakening

Yesterday when my daughter came home from school, I noticed she had pictures drawn all over her arm. Some were in pen, and others were in marker.

"Why did you draw on your arm?" I asked.

"I didn't."

I looked at her funny. "What do you mean?"

"My friend did it. I passed out during biology class. She did it while I was sleeping."

Nice friend.

(Apparently doing homework until 3:00 AM is taking its toll on my daughter.)

So, have any of you ever fallen asleep, and awakened to discover something strange had been done to you?  

Thursday, February 23, 2017

A Little Travel Music

My kids like to have their music on when we drive in the car. Usually it's stuff you hear on the radio, but the other day, my daughter had something on that sounded a little different.

"What are you listening to?" I asked.

She grinned. "Sponge Bob Square Pants Campfire Song."

"Are you serious?"

"I bought it on iTunes."

I couldn't believe it. My teenaged daughter bought a Sponge Bob Square Pants song and was blasting it at high volume in my car.

Of course my son, thought that was great. Soon, both kids were singing along.

So, in case you want to hear what I had to listen to over and over for twenty minutes, click on this link.

 

Monday, February 13, 2017

The Science Experiment

There is never a shortage of unusual occurrences at my house. The latest involves a science experiment done by my twelve-year-old son.

My teenage daughter likes to use bath bombs. These are solid balls of something that dissolve when placed in water, and make bath water smell nice. I was never clear on what the something part was, until after the experiment.

For reasons unknown to me, my son decided to toss one of these things in a toilet. A short time later, he used the toilet. He came back with this result:

"Mama," he said. "Did you know bath bombs make things float?"  

He explained in graphic detail what was floating in the toilet. I will spare you the details, but I'm sure you get the picture.

Apparently, bath bombs contain a high concentration of salt. Therefore, dumping a bath bomb in a toilet is like creating a miniature Dead Sea. Anything taking a swim in that toilet will float.

Aren't you glad you know that, now?

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Team Spirit

As you know, my home team, the Atlanta Falcons, were in the Superbowl. (We are all heartbroken over their loss!) The week prior to the event, had the city in major celebration mode. Schools jumped on the bandwagon, too. Their festivities included a Team Spirit Day. Kids were allowed to dress up in Falcons jerseys, and decorate themselves in the Falcons' team colors.

When my boy came downstairs on the morning of the day of this big celebration, I had to do a double take. I hardly recognized him. He was dressed in a Falcons jersey, as expected.  But that was not all. His face was covered in red streaks, and he had red lines under his eyes (like the black lines football players place under their eyes). He also had red hair.

"Dude," I said. "What did you use to paint your hair and face with?"

He grinned. "Marker!"

Ugh!  Well, at least I found out it was the washable sort. And he ended up being photographed numerous times at school, so I'm sure his Falcons look will be caught forever in the school yearbook!

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Pitch Perfect

I've discovered that our German Shepherd, Schultz, has a new talent. This discovery was made last night, as I was teaching a violin student.

Normally, I banish the dog from the area when I teach in my house, so he doesn't disturb the lesson. But Schultz seemed rather laid back, and I didn't think he was going to cause too much trouble. He parked himself in a spot, not far from where the student and I were, and lay down.  I let him stay.

The student began playing, and hit a wrong note. I saw Schultz's ear twitch when he heard it. I didn't think much of it, until the student played another wrong note. Schultz's ear twitched, again. Hmmm, I thought, this dog notices out-of-tune notes and reacts to them.  The lesson continued. As long as the student played in tune, Schultz's ear didn't move. But every time a wrong note was played, the ear twitched. 

I think I have a new assistant! If I ever go deaf, I can rely on my hearing-ear dog. Now he just needs to tell me if the student is playing sharp or flat!