Mama Diaries

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Twenty Reasons Not to Own a Big Dog

Our dear German Shepherd puppy was at it again today.  My husband had just fixed the screen door that the dog ripped out a couple of weeks ago.  So what did the dog do first thing this morning?  He ripped it to shreds!  So, as I sit staring at the tattered screen blowing in the wind, I feel compelled to write a list of reasons why you should absolutely positively not get a big dog.

Here they are:

1.  He'll bark and wake you up at 6:00 AM.
2.  He'll dump your garbage all over the floor and try to eat it. 
3.  He'll eat your grill cover.
4.  He'll eat your grill ignition switch
5.  He'll eat your tulips and garden plants.
6.  He'll eat your trees.
7.  He'll chew your kitchen chairs.
8.  He'll pee on your kitchen floor.
9.  He'll leave giant turds all over your yard.
10.  He'll play with other dogs and end up with mangled body parts.
11.  He'll dig holes in your yard.
12.  He'll leave muddy paw prints all over your carpet and furniture.
13.  He'll leave hair and drool wherever he goes.
14.  He'll nip at your fingers and toes.
15.  He stinks even when he's clean.
16.  He'll shred your screen doors.
17.  He'll bleed all over your floor if you trim his nails the wrong way.
18.  He'll eat your wind chimes and garden ornaments.
19.  He'll chew your kids' toys.
20.  He'll make you end up in the poor house with all of the vet visits, pet store purchases, and home repairs!

If  you're thinking about getting a big dog, DON'T DO IT!  Learn from my mistake!    

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