Mama Diaries

Friday, August 31, 2012

The Romantic Encounter

You may recall that a few days ago, my son opened a fortune cookie that had the message, "You will soon have a romantic encounter."  I was slightly concerned, but really didn't think he'd seriously have one.

I was wrong.  The boy now informs me that he thinks he has a girlfriend.

"What?' I said, hardly believing my ears.

"Yeah.  In school today, we were allowed to pick one person to hug.  A girl picked me.  She's really nice!"

Um. Okay.

So this revelation came yesterday.  Today, I went into the classroom to help the teacher.  The kids were sitting on the carpet as I walked in.  I noticed my boy was sitting next to a girl.


Then, when the teacher walked over to me to give me my instructions, I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw my boy playing rock, paper, sissors with this girl.

Now I know I'm in trouble!

One announcment before I close:  Tomorrow, September 1st at 10:00 AM EST, I'll be a guest on this radio show reading my book, That Mama is a Grouch.  If you want to hear the story, or listen to me yap, please stop by!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Hunger Games

First of all, I want to let you all know that I'm a guest at Mum and Babies.  It's a repost of last week's interview, but this time the site is working so you can comment.  If you want to visit, great.  If not, I certainly understand - been there, done that!

Today's post is kind of disturbing.  My son came home from his friend's house with a homemade bow and arrow.  It was actually pretty good.  He had found a bowed stick which he sanded.  He carved some notches at either end so it could be strung.  Then he found a long rubberband and attached it to the bow.  The arrow was a stick he had sharpened with a stone. 

"Bubba,  that's a really good bow and arrow," I said, "but why did you make it?"

"I'm in training," he replied.

"In training for what?"

"The Hunger Games."

"WHAT?"  I couldn't believe he even knew about the Hunger Games!

"Yeah, we're having them in 2013."

"You absolutely ARE NOT having the Hunger Games in 2013, and you ARE NOT training for them!"  I went on to explain that the Hunger Games were very dangerous and that the kids in the movie got hurt and killed doing them.

I am appalled that 8, 9, and 10 year old kids are thinking that it would be fun to emulate what was in the Hunger Games movie!  Am I over-reacting here?

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Storm Tracker

My eight-year-old son is fascinated by weather.  He can spend hours watching radar maps on TV.  I don't get it, because weather maps and radar screens bore me.  Perhaps he will be a meteorologist someday.  He'd certainly be an entertaining one!

Anyway, as you can probably guess, he has been very interested in Hurricane Isaac.  When he finished his homework, he asked if he could watch the weather channel to track its progress.  I turned it on, and he sat there, mesmerized by the whole thing.

I went off to teach violin lessons.  I was in the middle of a lesson when the boy came barging into the room.  "Mama, come quick, you have to see this!"

"Bubba, I'm teaching.  I'll look at it later."

"No, you have to come now.  It won't be here later."

Argh.  I went in to see what the boy was all excited about.  There was a radar screen on the TV.  "You brought me in to show me this?" I asked, exasperated.

"Yeah, Mama.  It's on the same track as Hurricane Katrina.  And it's a catagory 2!  People are on their roofs because their houses flooded!"

Well, I'm truly sorry for the people who are in the middle of that mess.  Perhaps if you are in the way of the hurricane, you can contact my son, and he'll tell you if you need to evacuate.

Meanwhile, I'm going back to teaching violin lessons.   

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Tapping at Timmy's Wok

As you may or may not know, my daughter is a dancer.  Her specialty is tap dancing.  (And yes, that means I listen to hours and hours of tapping noise as she practices her moves.)   Well, let me tell you, that girl has a tough time keeping her feet still.

Today, we were waiting at Timmy's Wok, a local Chinese restaurant, while our order was being prepared.  My daughter, the hyperactive, energetic dancer she is, started practicing fallaps and shuffle ball changes.  I watched her and shook my head.

All the tapping got the attention of a toddler in the back kitchen.  Apparently, mom and dad are the chefs, and the toddler was hanging out with them.  Anyway, this cute little Chinese boy started watching my daughter.  He was amazed.  Soon that little kid was doing some toe tapping of his own. Then the little boy's sister got in on the act.  She wasn't much older than him.

I'm sure you can just picture it - my big kid and two little kids tap dancing around the restaurant.  Fortunately, nobody else was in the place.

"Mom," my daughter said.  "I'm a really good influence on these kids."

"Hmmm," I said.  "Not so sure about that.  Now these kids are going to think it's okay to tap dance in a restaurant."

"At least they'll provide good entertainment for the customers."

Yeah, that they will!  

Monday, August 27, 2012

Good Fortune

Today, a few of my son's buddies came over.  They raided my pantry and found some fortune cookies. 

One kid cracked open his.  "Hey, I'm going to have a new exciting business adventure!"

The next kid opened his.  "I'm going to have a comfortable old age!"

Then my son opened his.  He started giggling.  "Mine says there's a good chance of a romantic encounter soon."

Uh oh.  I think I'm seeing trouble ahead!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Pokemon School

Before I start my story, I want to let you all know that I'm a guest over at Virginia Wright's blog today. You can win a copy of my book, That Mama is a Grouch.  Please stop by and visit.

Now for the story.  My husband decided he wanted a 3-D flatscreen TV, so he went out and got one.  Of course, 3-D flatscreen TVs come in big boxes.  Perfect for kids to play in.  My son got a hold of that thing and let his imagination go wild.

"Mama," he said, "get in the bus!"

"The bus?"  It didn't look like a bus to me.

"Yeah, Mama.  Like this."  He demonstrated how to get in the bus.  His feet stuck out the bottom, and his head stuck out the top.

"Um, Bubba.  I think I'm a little big for that," I said.

"No, Mama.  You're skinny.  Come on."

Well, since he put it that way...

I crawled in the box and stood up.  I felt pretty stupid, but I figured we were in the garage so nobody would see me.  Not for long.  That boy decided to take his bus for a ride... to school of course.

"Come on, Mama.  We're going to Pokemon school."

I followed along as we walked (drove) our bus down the driveway.  We headed up the street.  "Wait a minute, Bubba.  Where are we going?"

"To the stop sign."

Negative.  The neighbors had come out of their house to watch our little spectacle.  "Bubba, we're staying in our yard. I'm not driving around the neighborhood in a box!"

To make  a long story short, we parked our box (bus) under a shady tree in our front yard.  Then Bubba taught me all about cat-like Pokemon.  (Meowith and Purrloin are the only two I can remember from that lesson.)   Afterwards, we drove our box back into the garage. 

I glanced back at the neighbors who were shaking their heads at us.  What can I say?  Never a dull moment at my pad!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Growing Up

My little girl isn't a little girl anymore.  Today, she started her first real job.  She's a dance assistant at the dance studio.  I watched her help the little ballet bears, and couldn't help remembering when she was a three-year-old in a tutu.  My, how the time flies!

As we got in the car, she made an announcement.  "Mama, I lost my last baby tooth!"

Sure enough, her last molar had popped out, and she was holding it in her hand.

So tonight is the last night the tooth fairy will be visiting my daughter.  I hope she doesn't get too emotional!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Doing the Happy Dance

It was the first day of school.  My son was very excited to get started and see his teacher and classmates.  He got up at the crack of dawn, and was ready to go to the bus stop before I even had breakfast on the table.

"Dude, we don't have to leave for forty-five minutes!" I said.

"But I'm ready!"

He most certainly was.  We finished breakfast, brushed our teeth, and headed for the bus stop.

At the bus stop, my boy could barely contain himself.  He started hopping around.

"Bubba, chill out!" I said.

"I can't, Mama.  I'm doing the happy dance!"

Okay then.

Fast forward to the afternoon.  Bubba got off the bus with a big grin on his face.

"Did you have a good first day at school?"

"Yeah, Mama!  And guess what?"


"The teacher did a happy dance, too!"

"Really?"  I said.

"Yeah.  She said we were the best class ever, because we didn't talk when we weren't supposed to. So she did a little dance, like this."  Bubba jumped around with his hands in the air.

That's what I call a good first day.  I hope every day makes my boy and his teacher want to do the happy dance!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Last Day of Summer Vacation

"Mama," my eight-year-old son said.  "I'm sad."

"Why are you sad?" I asked.

"Because it's the last day of summer vacation."

"Yeah," I said.  "I guess that is kind of sad. So, what are you going to do?"

He thought about that.  "Hmmm.  I'm going to fish and look for turtles.  Then I'm going to go swimming.  Then I'm going to have a picnic.  Then I'm going to bike all around the neighborhood.  Then I'm going to play with my friends.  And I don't know what else."

So, on this last day of summer vacation, we went to the lake.  We went to the pool.  The kids biked around the block.  They played with their friends.  And yes, we even had a picnic.

It was a great last day of summer vacation!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bubba, the Salesman

"Daddy," my eight-year-old son said. "I need a Wii."

That piqued my interest, so I walked over to the office to hear how this conversation would play out. 

My husband listened patiently as Bubba laid out all the reasons he needed a Wii.  Then he grinned.  "Bubba, do you know what a salesman is?"

Bubba looked at him and scrunched up his eyebrows.  "A man who sells things?"

"No, Bubba.  A salesman is somebody who tries to make people buy what they don't need."

Bubba didn't get that, so my husband explained.  "Do you need a Wii?"


"No, you don't.  You want a Wii, and you're trying to sell me on buying you one.  You're a natural born salesman!"

Bubba grinned.  "That's what I'm going to be when I grow up.  I'm going to be a salesman for Papa John's pizza.  And I'm going to make everybody in the world buy Papa John's pizza."

(I'm sure the owner of Papa John's pizza is just thrilled with that news.  Now you all should go out and buy some Papa John's pizza, because Bubba says so.)    

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Impressing the Girlfriend

No, I'm not talking about my son's girlfriend.  He's way too young for that sort of thing!  I'm talking about my German Shepherd, Schultz's girlfriend.  She's a pretty Golden Retriever.  You might remember her from a previous post, where Schultz was so busy gawking at her, that he walked right into to bush.

Well, the saga continues.  I took Schultz for a walk.  Everything was fine until he decided he needed to do his business.  He stopped and did what doggies do.  I was not aware that his girlfriend was behind us, being biked around the block.  As soon as she saw Schultz doing his business, she charged. 

Here's what happened next:  The kid who was biking the pretty Golden Retriever nearly fell off his bike.  The pretty Golden Retriever jumped into Schultz's poo, and Schultz jumped on top of  the pretty Golden Retriever.  It was a mess.  Leashes were tangled, and the kid and I were not too happy.  But apparently, Schultz and his girlfriend were very happy.   They wagged their tails in sheer glee.

We managed to get dogs and leashes untangled.  Then the kid and his dog continued on their way.  The Golden Retriever did a quick look back at Schultz and wagged her tail.

Apparently Schultz knows how to impress the ladies!  

Monday, August 20, 2012

Graham Cracker Crust

Before I share my graham cracker crust story, I wanted to let you all know that I'm a guest over at Mum and Babies.  If you have a chance, please stop by and visit.

Now for the story. 

I had gotten the ingredients to make a strawberry pie with graham cracker crust.  As the day went on, I knew I was running out of time to make it, so I asked my ten-year-old daughter to do it.  She had done it before, so I figured it would be no problem.

A little while later, she presented me with the finished product.  "Ta dah!"

I looked at that thing.  Yes there were strawberries in there, but the top wasn't quite what I expected.  She had taken whole graham crackers, laid them on top of the pie, and scooped cool whip on top of them.

"Um," I said looking at that thing.  "That's interesting.  What's up with the graham crackers?"

"It's a graham cracker crust," she said.  "I didn't think we had enough cool whip, so I did it like this."

Now that's what I call a literal graham cracker crust!  

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Big Bike Show

"Mama," my eight-year-old son said, running into the house.  "Come and see our bike show!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Just come on.  You'll see."

I followed the boy outside to a street a few blocks away.  In the middle of a cul-de-sac was a bike ramp. 

Uh oh, I thought.  This can't be good.

About seven boys were biking around, doing all kinds of not-so-safe tricks.  I watched as my boy jumped the ramp.  Then he whipped around and did some kind of fancy one-foot-on-the-pedal, one-foot-up-in-the-air move.  I thought I was going to have a heart-attack.

"Uh, Bubba," I said.  "I'm not so sure this is safe."

"Don't worry, Mama.  I've been practicing."

Uh huh. He's been practicing.

I watched the show for about a half hour.  Miraculously, nobody got hurt.  I was glad when his bike was in the garage and he was safe in the house.

Wasn't it just last year that I taught him how to ride his bike?     

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Hat Model

Today, as I sat plunking away at the computer, my daughter came up behind me.  She had a rectangular fabric in her hand which she promptly placed on my head.

"What the heck are you doing?" I asked.  I wasn't exactly pleased having that thing on me.

"Making a hat," my daughter said.

"A hat?"

"Yeah.  For Schultz."

Okay.  I don't know what made her think that I'd be a good model for that sort of thing, because the last time I looked, I didn't have large pointy ears sticking up off the top of my head. (Schultz, in case you don't know, is our big German Shepherd dog.)

"Just stay still while I figure out where the ear holes go."

I made a face and continued plunking.

A short while later, the measurements were taken, and the hat was completed.  My daughter asked  Schultz to sit while she gently placed the hat on his enormous head.

And guess what?  It was a perfect fit!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Messed Up GPS

I took my son into Super Walmart today to get a new fishing reel.  That boy has been fishing so much, that he busted his old one.

We walked in, and I took the main aisle to the right - not my usual route.

"Mama," my son said. "You're not going the right way."

"Sure I am," I said.

"No.  You're supposed to go straight, and then take a right."

"I can go this way," I reassured him.

"Mama, I think your GPS is broken."

"Nothing wrong with my GPS," I said as I kept walking.

He made a face and followed. I meandered through the aisles, purposely making the journey seem as complicated as possible. Finally we arrived at the sporting goods section.  The fishing poles rose victoriously into the air, announcing our arrival.

"See, I told you we'd get here."

"Yeah, but I still think your GPS is seriously messed up!"

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Muck Boot Dancing

Today, my daughter had a dance performance at a nursing home.  Since my husband was working, I dragged my son along.   He was not particularly thrilled about that, until he saw the donut/cookie table.  The activity director at the nursing home went all out - there were two ginormous trays of cookies, another tray of donuts, grapes, and carrots. ( I guess the organizer figured there had to be something healthy served with all that junk.)

My son happily raided that table while all the little girls in tutus and tiaras danced around him.  After he had his fill, he wiped off his chocolate covered face and started dancing.  Now that, in itself, was pretty funny. But what made it even funnier, was the fact that he was wearing black rubber boots.

One of the moms chuckled.  "Do you want to dance with us?" she asked.

My boy gave her a big grin.  "I don't do ballet.  I muck boot."

Monday, August 13, 2012

Troll-eating Dog

My home has been invaded by trolls, and my big old German Shepherd, Schultz, doesn't like it one bit.  What, you say?   Let me explain.

Do you remember those Lucky Troll dolls from the 80s -those ugly things with the funky hair that stood straight up?  My kids found a bunch of them at a garage sale, and decided they were the cutest things on Earth.  They bought about four of them and brought them home.

They plopped the trolls down on the kitchen table a took off to play in the woods.  A short while later, Schultz wandered into the kitchen.  He started sniffing around.  His sniffer led him straight to the trolls.  He took one look at those things and gave a little growl.

"Schultz,"  I said.  "You need to relax.  They're just a couple of troll dolls."

I walked away.  I probably shouldn't have done that, because the next thing that happened, was that Schultz decided to eat one.

"Schultz!" I yelled when I caught him with a tuft of yellow hair sticking out his mouth.  "Drop it!"

He didn't want to, but he dropped that thing.

"Listen here, dog," I said.  "Trolls are friends.  You will not eat a troll!"

He just cocked his big old head and looked at me like I was out of my mind.

Hmmm.  Maybe I should've let him eat the troll.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Pet Wax Worms

My eight-year-old son loves to fish.  Lately, we've been doing a lot of fishing.  When I take the boy, we're usually armed with bread and lunchmeat for bait.  That's because I  am not a huge fan of hooking live worms.  When my husband takes the boy fishing, he goes to the tackle shop to get worms and other fisherman-accepted bait.

Today, my husband took our son to the tackle shop.  He got an assortment of wiggly creatures, including a cup of Canadian Wax Worms.  I don't know if you folks are familiar with Canadian Wax Worms, but they're small and white and they look an awful lot like grubs.  Not exactly what I would consider cute.  But my son had a different opinion.

"Aren't these worms cute?" he asked.

My husband looked at those things and then looked at my son.  "No, they're not cute."

"I think they're cute," my son continued.  "I don't want any fish to eat them."

My husband shook his head and led the boy out of the tackle shop.

They went fishing, using the night crawler earth worms first.  Unfortunately, the fish weren't biting.

"Should we try different bait?"  My husband eyed the cup of Canadian Wax Worms.

My son grabbed that cup and shielded the worms from my husband.  "No, we're not feeding them to the fish!"

So now, ladies and gentleman, we have a nice cup of live Canadian Wax Worms sitting on our kitchen table.  More pets for our collection.  What should we name them?  

Friday, August 10, 2012

Liebster Blog Award

Another award landed at my pad (actually it arrived at both of my blogs, from two different people).  Thank you to Peaches Ledwidge,  at Conceive Writing, who nominated Mama Diaries, and thank you to Joanne Faries, at Word Splash,  who nominated Gone Gardening.  Be sure to visit both of these lovely liebster ladies.

What is the Liebster Blog Award?

“The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers.

The Meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.”

When Peaches gave me this award, it didn't come with eleven questions.  Joanne's version did.  If you get this award, you can choose if you want to do the questions or not.  If you do them, just use the same ones I answered. Then do what I've done - paste the award on your post, link back to who sent it, answer the questions, and nominate 5 more liebster bloggers (preferably ones with less than 200 followers).

Here are the 11 questions:

1. Who is your favorite author?  This is a tough one, because there are so many great authors.  Since I'm a children's author, I'll name a few of my favorite children authors:  Mary Pope Osborn, Jane Yolen, Kate Dicamillo, and Rick Riordan

2. What is your favorite book? Tuesdays with Morray by Mitch Albom.  I love this book.  It really makes you think about what's important in life!

3. Do you give books as gifts? If so, how do you decide which book to give? I definitely give books as gifts for children. I pick books based on age and interests.

4. Who is your favorite up and coming author? I honestly don't have a favorite, but some of the stuff I've read from fellow bloggers here is pretty awesome.  Maybe one of you are an up and coming author!

5. What music do you love?   I'm a classical musician, so I'm partial to classical music.  But I pretty much listen to anything.

6. What art do you love? Impressionists for painting. Renoir and Monet are my favorites.

7. Coffee or Tea? Tea - the herbal stuff.

8. Vanilla or Chocolate? Chocolate. No question about it!

9. Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn? Autumn. I love the cool, crisp air and the changing leaves.

10. Beginning or End?    End.  I like to know what happens in books, and I like to reach the end in my writing.

11. Why do you blog? I like it.  I think it's another outlet for creative writing, and I love meeting all the other bloggers. (Plus, someday it will be fun to read Mama Diaries and look back on all the crazy things that happened in this stage of my life.)


1.  Design Gourmande

2.  Scribbles from Jenn

3.  Hallie

4.  Bethany Crandell

5.  Belle
Please visit these ladies, too!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Mama Monster

  It's the last day of the Monster Blogfest to celebrate Christine Rain's launch of her new book, Fearless.  I hadn't actually planned another monster story, but as it turned out, last night,  my daughter had a monster in her room.

I had gone downstairs to get her water before tucking her in for the night.  She waited in bed, arranging her stuffed animals.

I came back upstairs.  As soon as I got to her door, she let out a scream.

Concerned, I ran over to her.  "What happened?" I asked.

"You scared me," she said.


"You were so quiet, I didn't hear you coming.  I thought you were a monster."

Yeah.  I'm a monster...the Mama Monster.  The most fearful monster of them all.

Hee Hee.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Bubba's Monster

  Yesterday, in honor of author, Christine Rain's book launch, I told you about my monster from childhood.  Today, I'll tell you about my son's.  His monster apparently lives in the closet.  It's no wonder, because last time I looked in there, there were plenty of places for it to hide.

"Mama," he said to me one evening.  "You have to close my closet doors."

"Why?' I asked.

"Because the monster is in there."

"There's a monster in there?"  I went to the closet to have a peek.  "Is he invisible?"

"No, Mama, I'm serious.  You have to close the closet!"

Okay.  I understood about monsters.  "So, tell me about your monster," I said after I locked the monster in the closet.

"He's a big zombie thing like the incredible hulk.  He's green and has a pouch with guns."


My boy had more to say.  "There's another one, too.  It's a tiny velocoraptor that spits acid."

Okay, I'm not going to spend the night in his room.  Way too scary!  

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Childhood Monsters Blogfest: The Monsters are Everywhere!

To celebrate author, Christine Rain's, debut of her paranormal novella, Fearless, we're having a blogfest to talk about those scary monsters who invaded our homes when we were kids.  As you might guess, there are plenty of monsters in Christine's new book.  Her protagonist, Abby White, kills monsters from children's imaginations (pretty fearless, huh?).  Can she and her stuffed hippo, Tawa, save the world from the monster uprising?  Well, you'll just have to read it to find out.

Now without further ado, I'm going to tell you about the very bad monster from my childhood.  I was about four years old.   My bedroom was on the west side of the house, which meant I got the evening sun shining through my window.  This wasn't so bad, except for in the summer, when I had to go to bed at 7:00 PM.  That was when the scary monster came out.

Every evening, after my mother tucked me in, the monster appeared on my wall.  It was a huge shadow thing, in the shape of the bogey man.  Terrified, I'd close my eyes and crawl further under my blankets, praying it wouldn't get me.  As the minutes passed, I'd venture out from under my covers and sneak another peak.  There it was, again!  But it had moved.  It was now on the ceiling, coming closer.  Under the covers I went, afraid to move.

The room darkened as the minutes turned into hours. Every time I looked, the monster was closer, until it was finally above me.  By then it was almost dark. I curled myself into a fetal postion under my covers, and didn't move for the rest of the night.

I honestly don't even know how I managed to sleep with the threat of the monster looming over me.  But in the morning, the monster was gone.  As I crawled out from under the covers, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had survived the night.

So what about you?  Did you have any childhood monsters? 

And be sure to check out Christine's new book (and all the other bloggers who signed up to do the blogfest)!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Dusting Fun

With all the pets I have around my house, dusting is something that gets done several times a week.  I can't say it's my favorite thing to do.

Today was another dusting day.  I pulled out the Endust and dust cloths and went to work.  My son saw me and started watching.

"Mama," he said after a few minutes.  "That's not how you should dust."

"Oh yeah?" I asked.  What could this kid possibly know that I didn't?

"Here, let me show you."   He took the spray and cloth and headed over to the coffee table.

I watched as he began spraying:  Y  O  U.

"What did I spell?"  he asked.

I told him, and he quickly wiped it up.

He sprayed some more.  M U S T.

We went through the same process.  Finally he spelled out, P L A Y.

"Now do you get it?"

"Yeah, I get it," I said.  "You have to make it fun."

I guess he really did know a thing or two!  

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Scaring the Ladies

Today I took my son back to the park where the lake with the turtles was.  He still had it in his mind that he wanted to catch one of those things.  I showed him the sign that said "Catch and Release Only."

"But I want to keep one if I catch it," he said.

"Sorry, but you have to follow the rules or the park ranger will give us a ticket."

He wasn't too happy about that, but he accepted it.  After we visited the lake and spotted a few turtles, we  roamed around the park, playing on the swing sets and hiking on the trails. It was very hot and humid, and we were both sweating like crazy.  

At the end of our visit, he wanted to stop back at the lake. 

"Mama," he said.  "See those ducks over there, sitting on the grass?"

"Yeah," I said.  "What about them?"

"I'm going to scare them."

"Why?  They're just..."

Before I could finish my sentence, the boy charged at a flock of about 15 ducks - all female mallards.  They took off into the lake, quacking their little heads off.

"What did you do that for?" I asked when I caught up to him.  "You scared the ladies."

He shrugged his shoulders.  "I don't like girls."

"Why?"  I asked.

"They smell bad.  And they're bossy."

Do you think he was trying to tell me something?

Friday, August 3, 2012

Shopping for School Suppies

It's that time of year again - time to shop for school supplies.  I can't say I'm a big fan of this activity.  Judging from the faces of some of the other moms I saw shopping in the school supply aisle, I'd have to say that my sentiments were shared.

Why is that? Well, for one thing, the supply lists are so darn particular.  Under pencils, for example, it said, "Four packages of 10 pack number 2 pencils, sharpened."  Four packs?  Seriously?  And I could only find 8 packs and 12 packs.  What do I do ?  I thought.  Should I get 5 packages of 8 packs or 4 packages of 12 packs?  I went with 4 packages of 8 packs, because what second grader is going to go through 40 pencils in less than a year?

Then there were the folders.  The list said, "Six two-pocket folders.  One red, one yellow, one green, one blue, one purple, one black."

"But I want a Pokemon folder," my son said.

"Sorry, kid.  We have to follow the directions."

"But Pikachu is yellow."

"Yeah," I said, "and Pipwup is blue, but I don't think that's going to fly with your teacher."

"Aw, come on!"

"If you got an issue with that, tell it to the teacher!"

Poor kid.  Isn't school supply shopping fun?


Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Little Too Much Sugar

So where was I?  Oh, yes...I was off to eat cake and ice cream for my birthday, yesterday.  No sooner had I gotten finished with the post, there was a knock at the door.  It was one of my son's friends. 

"Is it time to eat cake?" he asked.

"Why, yes it is," I said.  "You're just in time."  (Isn't it funny how kids have the uncanny ability to know when cake is served?)

We all sat down and had cake and ice cream.

After we were finished, the friend wanted to have a sleepover.  My son did, too. 

"Okay," I said.  "We'll just make this a big party."

I made some popcorn while the kids had pillow fights.  Then they chased the dog.  Then they found some coon-skin caps and toy guns.  They chased each other while the dog chased them.  It was a regular three-ring circus.

When I finally got them settled down and tucked into bed, the buddy gave me a big grin.  "I didn't know old people birthday parties could be so fun!"  


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Birthday Celebration

Guess what?  It's my birthday.  And to celebrate, I'm giving away free downloads to my book, That Mama is a Grouch.  Why?  Because you guys rock!  Just visit my page on Smashwords and use coupon code DK23B.  It's good until August 7th, so hurry!

One more surprise for you:  Since I always write about my nutcase German Shepherd, I thought I'd show you what he looks like:


Now I'm off to eat cake and ice cream!  Catch you later.